Lost...

     I wonder? Am I really lost or is it just a phase? When they speak to me if even for a moment I feel happy.
I hope this lasts, but while I am happy I am constantly reminded of how alone I am...


     The dreams seem to be getting more and more intruiging as of late. It is as if I am looking from a whole new view. The birds, when they sing it is a soft melody that could lul anyone to sleep. The other day I had a nightmare. It has put me in a state recently where I feel alone. As if I should not be cared for. As if I am unworthy. I am not a person who seeks comfort from others, but I now feel as if I just need someone to hold me. Or simply a hug that lets me know they are there.

 
     I have decided upon something. To wait. To wait for as long as i need to. That is how I seem to have always been. I am just me and that is all i want to be. Never changing for others just expressing myself in the way it comes out.  S. she is probably the only person who truly knows how I feel about him. E.  I truly want to ask him, but the reprocusions of my action might be negative. I shall wait. as long as i need to just to make him happy.